Hogmanay Conception: My DNA is created, proving that the fastest swimmers aren't always the smartest...or prettiest.
I remember being glued to my pram watching television, clutching a Teletubbie and screaming anytime ART ATTACK came on because Neil Buchanan's face terrified me.
My sister and I became the Creative Directors of our own in-house production company. We would devise 30 minute sell-out shows (mainly to mum and dad) which consisted of: badly executed magic, out of time dancing and very dramatic reimagining’ of Soap Opera scenes.
I joined a stage school in Glasgow (GAMTA). I distinctly remember contracting diarrhoea and having to leave singing class regularly. I would raise my hand and pretend I felt sick, ignoring the fact that everyone could smell the shit from my leotard.
My days as a Shakespeare nerd began. On a totally unrelated note, I discovered RateMyShit.Com
At Bruce’s Cave Caravan Park I started a fire with a friend, tried Buckfast and had my first fag.
We were robbed by Moroccans in Lanzarote; they stole clothes, passports, all money and the safe which was bolted to the wardrobe. They left my Nintendo DS and Brain Training game on the side though, so I guess that makes it okay, right?
I had my first detention.
I went to Belgium, Germany and France on a Battlefield tour and was able to find and pay my respects to a relative who passed at the battle of Passchendaele.
My first time in London and my innocence had well and truly disappeared. I began ‘Adulting’
I learned how to drive and finally gained the independence I had yearned for since birth.
My bowels decided to take on the Guiness World Record attempt for how many Huggies® Happy Baby diapers can be worn in one day. I became addicted to rusks.
My first holiday. Benidorm. Lathered in Factor 50 sun-screen and still managed to burn. I watched a variety act in a cigarette-smoke filled 'Buddies Bar' and knew from that moment on, I would perform for the rest of my life.
I began my first day of school. We had a colouring in competition and I wanted to win. I needed the red pencil but Isla Miller was hogging it for ages; so I viciously bit her arm and was sent home immediately.
Even on holiday I had the urge to perform; I begged the hotel animation team to let me put on a show in the bar and more fool them they allowed it. I thought it would be funny to turn up using my Mum’s top as a dress and my sisters high heels to be Tina Turner.
My mum began reading OUTLANDER and I couldn’t have been less interested at this point.
I discovered SIA. I became obsessed with SIA.
I became an supporting artist on Waterloo Road and had the privilege of spending time with Philip Martin Brown who shared advice with me that I follow to this day.
I am cast in my first film series for the NHS - ‘Boozebusters & Sexperts’ - a two-part drama that travels around Scottish High School’s to this day teaching kid’s about alcohol abuse and safe sex.
Final few months of High School allowed me to access my rebellious side. I found myself having multiple confrontations with teachers and spent my ‘study periods’ with friends telling nun-jokes.
I called my acting tutor a trollop (as a term of endorsement) and was put on a disciplinary procedure because apparently she 'didn't want to be known as a prostitute'. #BANTER - Oh, I also got cast in Starz TV’s OUTLANDER which has changed my life for the better.
So this takes us to the present day. I have had my up’s and down’s like everybody else but the one thing dragging me through the whirlwind that is ‘life’ is my ability to perform. Long may it continue.